Retained Primitive Reflexes Creating Self-Esteem Issues and Self-Doubt in Kids

This article provides helpful information on how self-esteem is affected by retained Primitive Reflexes. Integrated Learning Strategies (ILS) is a learning and academic center. As a reminder, ILS is not a health care provider and none of our materials or services provide a diagnosis or treatment of a specific condition or learning challenge you may see in your child or student. If you seek a diagnosis or treatment for your child or student, please contact a trained professional who can provide an evaluation of the child.

Retained Primitive Reflexes not only impact a child’s motor skills, but a child’s self-confidence and self-esteem as well. Yes, kids with retained reflexes already struggle with emotional grounding, but retention can also directly and indirectly affect a child’s ability to do the following:

• Approach friends and strangers
• Have good eye contact or any at all
• Socially interact with their peers
• Stand-up for themselves when being bullied
• Feel comfortable in crowded places
• Stand in front of the classroom when presenting or doing show-and-tell

Because children with retained Primitive Reflexes typically fall behind or experience gaps in learning, they can be “labeled” different than other kids in the classroom. Peers are just as aware as adults when a child has trouble in social interactions. As a result, many of these kids are often bullied or are considered the “bad” or “weird” kids in school.

When this happens, the child with retained reflexes may experience isolation or has trouble building relationships with other kids.

How Retained Reflexes can Cause Kids to Lose Self-Esteem

A child with retained reflexes begins to realize there is a separation between them and their peers at a young age. Kids may start to ask themselves the following questions:

“Is there something wrong with me?”

“Am I a bad kid?”

“Why does no one like me or want to play with me?”

“Why do kids keep picking on me or say mean things?”

“Amy I really dumb or stupid?”

“Why can’t I do anything right?”

These questions are common in kids with retained Primitive Reflexes and can be hard for parents to hear. As reflexes are integrated, self-confidence and self-esteem can improve as some the gaps begin to close. However, it’s important to continue supporting the mental health of the child through integration to help the child gain additional confidence.

Retained reflexes can greatly impact a child’s maturity and emotional grounding. Socially, kids with retained Primitive Reflexes may struggle even more because their emotional development is behind other children. The child may experience a rollercoaster of emotions, which can push other kids away if the child is in a constant emotional state.

Many of these kids have trouble emotionally and may react in the following ways:

• Can’t self-regulate or calm down on their own
• Experiences frequent fight or flight responses
• Is often anxious or has panic attacks
• Meltdowns when coming in contact with unwanted sensory stimuli

If the child’s self-confidence continues to diminish, they may avoid group activities altogether or play on their own so they don’t have to interact with other kids.

In addition, if a child has one or more retained reflexes that impact their vestibular development, it often leads to trouble with self-reliance, self-confidence, and self-esteem. These kids commonly have problems with behavior in the classroom and are known for causing issues with faculty or other kids.

Lack of Self Confidence in Learning Development

Not only do kids with retained reflexes have trouble with self-confidence when it comes to social skills, but with learning as well. Retained reflexes can cause disruptions in cognitive development, which delays or prevents learning from progressing naturally.

As children compare their learning development to others in the classroom, they may become frustrated or upset when they can’t do the following:

• Activities that require coordination skills (sports or PE)
• Handwriting that requires hand-eye coordination
• Pencil grasp requiring the use of fine motor skills
• Reading that involves tracking
• Organizing themselves or their homework
• Following directions or completing tasks
• Remember details or retain important information

Reflex integration exercises that target areas of the brain build neural connections needed for learning. Kids who participate in reflex integration exercises begin to bridge gaps in cognitive development, which then creates natural learning progression. As this happens, the child becomes more confident because they do not have to use all their mental energy to focus on difficult learning subjects. Integration starts to rewire and hardwire the brain for higher-learning concepts that are now automatic.

Retained Primitive Reflexes and Self Confidence

There are several retained Primitive Reflexes that impact a child’s self-confidence and self-esteem both directly and indirectly. The following retained Primitive Reflexes are often the culprit of a child losing self-confidence or not letting the child establish it in the first place:

Moro Reflex

A retained Moro Reflex causes a child to be in a constant state of stress, which often leads to frequent anxiety and frustration. When this happens, the child tends to have negative thoughts and feelings that display both outwardly and inwardly. In many situations, it creates a state of fight or flight for the child, making them appear “weird” or “different” from other children.

Retention of the Moro reflex prevents the child from adapting to change, their surroundings and their ability to cope emotionally. As a result, the child may choose to withdraw in situations or they appear to be overbearing and controlling.

Kids with a retained Moro reflex also experience the following that impact their self-confidence:

• Insecurity
• Fear and anxiousness
• Panic attacks and mood swings
• Aggressive outbursts

When this happens, the child experiences emotional ups and downs as the nervous system is required to adjust.

Fear Paralysis Reflex

Retention of the Fear Paralysis reflex directly impacts the child’s self-esteem because of their heightened hypersensitivity to environmental, emotional and social responses.

Socially, the child may feel frequent emotions of embarrassment, shyness or isolation. As a result, the child may struggle with the following:

• Depression
• Lack of self-belief
• Reluctance to try new activities
• Eye contact
• Separation anxiety
• Mental stress

ATNR Reflex

Children with a retained Asymmetrical Tonic Neck Reflex (ATNR) reflex experience multiple issues with coordination and motor development. Because of these setbacks, the child’s cognitive abilities fail to function automatically. Their movements make them appear to be “different” and make them prime targets for bullying.

Complicating matters further, kids begin to feel self-conscious when participating in activities or sports that require throwing and catching. Their lack of coordination makes involvement in these activities uncomfortable and embarrassing. They often feel insecure and lack confidence in these situations.

Landau Reflex

Kids with a retained Landau reflex often exhibit self-denial and refuse to accept what’s being offered by others. When this happens, these kids have feelings of resentment and anger. Emotional obstacles with the Landau reflex often pave the way for depression or lack of emotion.

In addition, the child may have low self-esteem and lack assertiveness, especially when responding to danger. Retention of the reflex leads to habitual lateness for appointments and breaking of commitments.

Because the Landau reflex is often associated with bringing feelings of peace and happiness, retention can lead to opposite feelings of insecurity and self-doubt.

TLR Reflex

A retained Tonic Labyrinthine Reflex (TLR) reflex causes several emotional challenges in a child. These kids are often perceived as “out of touch” with their feelings. They may have frequent feelings of frustration, confusion and rebelliousness, which lead to low self-esteem.

Kids with a retained TLR reflex can lose track of time easily and have trouble learning from their mistakes. This often leads to challenges of dysfunctional behavior, causing them to become unsure of themselves.

As a result, the child shows emotions and feelings of disinterest, frustration and confusion in school to hide their lack of self-confidence.

Retained Primitive Reflexes Roadmap

For more information on the signs and symptoms of six retained Primitive reflexes, complete the form below to download a free copy of our Retained Primitive Reflexes Roadmap. When you’ve completed the form, check your email inbox for the download link, including your junk and spam folder. If you do not see the download link come to your email inbox, please email us at info@ilslearning.com.

Reference Materials

Hirose, N., Tashiro, Y., & Takasaki, T. (2025). Effects of a 12-Week exercise intervention on primitive reflex retention and social development in children with ASD and ADHD. Children, 12(8), 987. https://doi.org/10.3390/children12080987

Gieysztor, E. Z., Choińska, A. M., & Paprocka-Borowicz, M. (2018). Persistence of primitive reflexes and associated motor problems in healthy preschool children. Archives of Medical Science, 14(1), 167–173. https://doi.org/10.5114/aoms.2016.60503

Grigg, T. M., Fox-Turnbull, W., & Culpan, I. (2018). Retained primitive reflexes: Perceptions of parents who have used Rhythmic Movement Training with their children. Journal of Child Health Care, 22(3), 406–418. https://doi.org/10.1177/1367493518760736

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